Executive Counseling For

Anger

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My Approach to Anger

Many clients have come to me seeking to manage or eliminate their anger. I usually guide them toward a different approach: awakening it! 

Anger can be scary because it is often used to harm others, and we reserve our fiercest anger for those we love the deepest. Anger can also be difficult to control. In a season of my own life when anger was at its most intense, I felt as though there was a volcano of fury inside me ready to burst at any moment. The smallest trigger could set it off. This led me to carry deep shame for the ways I harmed others. And yet I had no idea where all the intensity was coming from, let alone what to do about it.

I eventually found ways to move through the worst of my anger in ways that did not harm others. I discovered the root cause of this emotion and processed these experiences of pain and disappointment in ways that lifted the cover off my own steaming pot of anger. The pressure was released and the water stopped boiling.

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“We have reached the moment that asks us about our commitment, our motivation, and our madness.”

– Boyd Varty

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Anger is the deepest form of compassion, for another, for the world, for the self, for a life, for the body, for a family and for all our ideals, all vulnerable and all possibly about to be hurt. Stripped of physical imprisonment and violent reaction, anger is the purest form of care, the internal living flame of anger always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard ourselves for.

David Whyte
in his book Consolations (emphasis added)

Helping you grow
in the way you need it most.

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